My Little Black Memoirs

Dear Father

2012-02-01T10:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Father Lord,

You say that You love me so much that I just have to ask for what I want and You will give it.

Well, I just lost a love to my insecurities. It was all good til I messed it up. Please return my love to me. I pray for healing within myself and for my love so that we can overcome this hurdle once more for a stronger relationship. This obstacle has shown me what I want.

Thank you and I love You.

http://www.newcreation.org.sg/resources/daily-devotional/

CNY FUN!

2012-01-24T22:40:00.000-08:00

Our all time faves....

This pic taken with Aylwin's Nokia 701 is more gorgeous than the pics taken with Bel's Canon! Do you believe it?!

We welcomed Kai back this CNY with great food and our fave Martell! There was also a new addition to the 'family' - Aylwin! My best buddy photographer. :)

Jon joined us much later and got superbly smashed....

although I wasn't there by then. D came to pick me for a late night movie ♥.

DAMN IT! I really wanted to see Jon drunk! For 12 years of our friendship, he has always sworn off drinking until he met his current Muay Thai friends who recently got him started...And I still haven't gotten the chance to see that side of him. Just you wait Jon....I'll see it one day! Evil Lol...

The girls got so high that night that Bel revealed her 'true colours' for the first time to Aylwin! I think he was a little taken aback... But that is something he should learn to accept if he chooses to be with Bel. It is part of her after all and something that will reveal itself even when she isn't high on alcohol.

I was chatting with Vivian just last night when we decided that when it comes to many relationships, opposites do attract! And this is so for Aylwin and Bel, D and I.

Eve

2012-01-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

Same day, two different looks. Had to wait quite a fair bit before doing this shoot due to Leng Keong's busy schedule but it was well worth the wait! I've learnt that sometimes, you have to be patient for the best things to happen in life.

Like a virgin

2012-01-20T22:55:00.000-08:00

By Yours Truly...

Thanks Bel for making me look beautiful

&

Thanks Leng Keong for always making me look oh so sexy!

The BEST team ever...

Narcissism

2012-01-07T03:11:00.000-08:00

I'm a narcissistic bitch. Why do you think I'm modelling?

The Softness of a dream

2012-01-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! :)

This is my first post for the New Year 2012. I chose to put this set up instead of the other ones I've done because I feel that this series reflects what I want for this year.

After months of planning and fruitless attempts of meeting up, Eric and I finally managed to set a date but it was not easy... That day, it stormed heavily and I very nearly called off the shoot. There were moments of sunshine and after discussion, we decided to try our luck to go ahead.

The moment I reached our meetup point, it started storming again! And boy, was it an angry one. The winds were lashing as the heavens poured incessantly down. I got quite wet just during that 5 seconds of getting into Eric's car. >.<

However, it stopped when we reached our destination and the scenery that greeted us was breath-taking...I never knew such a place existed in SG.

We began our shoot almost hurriedly with the thought of rain atthe back of our minds.

Towards the end, a drizzle started up and we rushed to finish our last few shots. It was a pity as there was still so much more to take and experiment.

Life should be lived with a softness of a dream, it should be brimming with positivity and a gentle realisation that you'll be alright at the end of everyday no matter what life throws at you. There can be no regret because there is something to be learned and gained with every choice you make.

http://porzellanpuppe.multiply.com/

A Song to Remember sub-theme song "你的眼泪"

2011-12-31T21:31:00.000-08:00

Drifting on a boundless ocean

I catch the glistening of your tears

in their clear n innocent reflection

Touches me with sadness

drifting on a sea of clouds

I cannot forget your soft tears

like dew drops filled with light

like snowflakes echoing your sigh

Your tears know not the weight of the years

nor how the world should be

yet its kindness n cruelties crowd your heart

and heaven n earth feel your melancholy

Your tears so pure n bright

if heaven exists it must be thus

may suffering never darken your gaze

in doubt or in certainity

Drifting on a sea of clouds

I cannot forget your soft tears

like dew drops filled with parting and flight

like snowflakes helplessly falling...

Pablo Neruda - I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

2011-12-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Above & Beyond pres. OceanLab - Breaking Ties

2011-12-24T02:55:00.000-08:00

Angelababy

2011-12-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

I love this set! Dreamy and ethereal, it reminds me of fairytales and sweet nothings lol...

And Angelababy brings this sweetness out really well. An extreeeeeeemely inspirational shoot.

The Card I Never got to send

2011-12-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from 2009

Just pure fantasy,

The pigments of what could be.

The scattered jigsaws

Of an incomplete picture.

Melting into dreams,

Fascinations of the brain.

Fail to recognise

When Reality is blurred.

The blinding flashes

Appears as quick as they go.

Maze of confusion,

Unreachable memories...

Longing in Silence

2011-12-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

The lyrics touched my heart. I remember my own Prince.

The singer dies in the arms of her lover the prince who never reciprocated her love. Only, when she dies that he realises how precious she is to him.

What hour of the night is this

Drifting down the River Qian

What hour of the day is this

Dreaming beside my prince

Too bashful to stare

A secret I cannot share

My heart fills with longing

To know you, dear prince

Trees live on mountains

And branches live on trees

My heart lives in your heart but

You do not see me...

You do not see me

Photoshoot - Seletar

2011-12-03T20:06:00.000-08:00

Dismal day of grays and pouring rain. A lifestyle shoot of depths and moodiness...Thanks to a wonderful, talented photographer who gave me new meaning to continue shooting.

Fridays @ KPO

2011-12-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

It's been such a long time since I've chilled with Van that I'd forgotten how much fun we used to have... Been laying low for a bit...and as a result, it took just one shot of diesel to get me flying! I hate that drink...tastes like thinner and worse than 151. >.<

A night that ended early coz none of my regular friends were down. :( We had a round two at Neverland after but it wasen't as fun as it used to be without Van (who left early!) or Bel or Debz...

We've all pretty much grown out of that phase when we used to party all the way til day break and the podium was our playground. Those were the days...

Now Bel has quit drinking and it looks like Debz is following in the same route. Van has a bf and I...well, don't have the stamina anymore.

Cheers to what once was and what is to come! :)

Non

2011-11-27T00:21:00.000-08:00

I want!!!!..............Nozomi is one of my fave Japanese models and her work inspires me as a model myself to stretch the limits!

Shogun ft. Emma Lock - Save Me (Stoneface and Terminal Vocal Mix)

2011-11-19T23:43:00.000-08:00

Horrendous

2011-11-19T23:18:00.000-08:00

Having a perfectly horrendous day. Imagine waking up wth a headache...that just ruins about everything! Then, it gets further ruined when things don't go your way. If I were in a better mood, I wouldn't take things so seriously and will just let it pass but now, every itty bitty thing seems to be rubbing me the wrong way.

Been on meds for the longest time to cure my migraines, my on and off flu and other crazy symptoms but nothing works long term. It's irritating the hell out of me. :(

Anyway, to focus more on happy things....I got a baby guinea pig!!! His name is Darling and I got him on a whim. He's looks really really adorable and is really naughty and feisty. Exactly like Fat Boy when he was younger ♥♥♥

Here's a pic with Fat Boy:

The Breaking Of Dawn

2011-11-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

Dash Berlin feat. Emma Hewitt - Waiting

2011-10-26T05:02:00.000-07:00

The problem with people is that we can never see what is before us and fully cherish it. We're always looking to the past, seeking something that can no longer exist.

Terribly sick and very tired in all sense of the word. This thing that I feel has become part of me and something that I have come to accept as part of who I am. I don't want to fight myself anymore. I want to just let go and let be.

So far away, you've gone so long, ooh and I'm waiting....

林峰 & 黄圣依 - 许诺《白蛇传说主题曲》MV

2011-10-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Silently, hoping...secretly wishing...

T-Shirt Shoot

2011-10-18T02:53:00.000-07:00

Check out my new pics:

http://porzellanpuppe.multiply.com/

Ant's Birthday

2011-10-16T02:03:00.000-07:00

Thai Steamboat - Filter - Attica - Forbidden City - Nana.

What a night! Happy Birthday Ant! :)

Sometimes, in life, we only realise how important certain things/people are to us only when we have lost them completely. By then, it is too late. But it's never too late to learn how to cherish the remaining people/things around you.

Cheers to a sweet girl who is still fighting every single day of her life.

Ivan's Return

2011-10-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

Lethal Sour Plum shots

Ivan came back from China! Yay! I miss you dude. ;) We wine-bar-ed the night away and had prata opposite Zouk. It was an early night with Zack and Michelle.

Ivan has since left and I'll be missing his witty sense of humor.

An end too deep

2011-10-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

The tears won't stop,

They fall from the sky.

The heavens weep for you

On this tragic, hopeless day.

An end too deep,

A dire mistake.

This fall proved so fatal

It will change you forever.

A flame so bright,

It lit many hearts.

Your warmth melted the ice

May it never stop burning.

The blackest day,

Of loss and sorrow

Yet you shone so brightly

And dispersed the shadowed gloom.

There's no goodbye for us. I'll never ever abandon you. Nor will your friends...For better or worse, through sunshine or rain, we will all face this together. An ending to an old chapter and a beginning to a new one. A bright new one.

Ifer lovefer youfu forfereferverfer.

Bye Bye Lovely Locks

2011-09-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

HK & Macau

2011-08-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Went to Hong Kong and Macau a few weeks back! A fantastic experience. I miss Macau! We stayed for 4 days - just the right duration.

Strangely, I wasn't too impressed with HK as I thought I would be. Perhaps it's coz I'm not much of a shopoholic.

I LOVED Macau though. I still do even though it's been two years since I've been there. There's something just so charming and idyllic about this small country. It's culture and heritage...The buildings and the whole atmosphere of the place.

Our hotel at Oil Street...They filmed this very same hotel in the latest HK movie Overheard 2

The view from the room...

We ate lunch at a regular HK style coffee shop. My eyes crossed when I saw the whole menu in Mandarin!

Chicken blood! Although I was craving for pig's blood, they only had the chicken version.

Mongkok

My beloved Macau!

Fisherman's Wharf. I didn't get to visit the last time I was here.

We won back our Macau trip with Blackjack so we celebrated at Playboy Club.

Fish skin...Last meal in HK.

Warm Coke with Lemon. By the end of the trip, I was suffering from a sore throat and a horrible flu. :(

Ciao HK!

It was a fun trip to say the least! The last two days were horrendous for me because I suffered from a migraine and was as sick as a dog with flu and sore throat. The weather was really hot and I suppose I didn't drink enough water.

Like every trip though, even when I enjoy each one of them, I always miss SG and was dying to go home by the end of the 3rd day. :(

This time when I visited Macau, we covered Fisherman's Wharf and went to see Hotel Lisboa's infamous 'horses'. Prostitutes who parade around an area near the hotel lobby pass cafes with men eyeing lasciviously at the 'wares' and negotiating prices.

The women here were so different from the bunnies at the Playboy Club which we had chilled a few hours before. The Playboy bunnies were exotic mixes and presented themselves well while the women at Lisboa were mostly from the Mainland and well, looked like prostitutes in their barely there outfits.

We had won our money back for the whole trip to Macau and more with Blackjack. So we decided to give ourselves a reward by chilling at the Playboy club.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience to have!

I'll be visiting Macau more often. :)

me

2011-08-24T08:35:00.000-07:00

A quaint, paradox of a girl who always has her head in the clouds of fairytale endings and sweet nothings...

Only the simplest pleasures in life can satisfy her and the beautiful scenery of twilight with a sky full of stars can steal her wayward heart.

Don't try to force your views on this one or judge her, or she'll disappear from your life like a magical spun of dust and you'll never see her again. But her heart is soft and forgiveness is a second nature if you know the secret trick to win her over.

This girl is nothing earthy but rather all things whimsical. Her spirit is free as a lark and cannot be contained. Only her soulmate can calm her restlessness and break the spell that shadows her woundedness.

Sing her a moonlight sonata and hold her close to your heart. Once you've stolen the core of her being, she will belong to you forever. There can be no one else.

Vanity

2011-08-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

The Last One

2011-08-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Something Grand

2011-08-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

There's something to be said about rainy days,

The white washed skies and chilly winds.

It brings about a tranquil calm and freshness.

I love the way the world stands silently still,

holding its breath for something grand.

A day for long awaited miracles.

Pressie!

2011-07-28T02:54:00.000-07:00

Had a pleasent surprise recently which has really lightened up my mood. Cai messaged me one night and said there was a surprise in store for me. I thought it was the usual food...Instead, I got a Chanel perfume!

A perfume is such a personal thing. I've been using my Ralph Lauren and Hugo Boss for 3 years. Two months ago, I was in Lucky Plaza, thinking of changing my scent but had no clue what to get! In fact, I was thinking of getting a male scent as one caught my 'nose'. ;)

Little did I know that Cai would get me a perfume out of the blue! When I tried it on the next day, I fell in love...

Who knew?! I am very picky with my scent...but Cai was spot on! Thanks....Ur the best!:)

v4

2011-07-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

Van was emo-ing so we went to PARTY!

First time at V4. Hmm....Not exactly my cup of tea. I like Thai clubs but I didn't really like this one. And I kena again: Where are you from? Are you Thai?

New Pics are Up!

2011-07-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

http://porzellanpuppe.multiply.com

shirley's tattoo

2011-07-10T02:12:00.000-07:00

Credits to Sharon! ;)

Ai

2011-07-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

Love is more than a feeling; it’s a commitment.

Maya's B'Day!

2011-07-05T03:10:00.000-07:00

Photoshoot before Maya's big day with Lim Ching again!

***

My Fois Gras....Yum! I HAD to take this pic and send it to Ant! Wahahaha...

Maya throwing me a flying kiss! Love you baby! :)

Tania drove....

Poor Bel was sick the whole night!

Me, Tania and Maya

It was Maya's b'day last week and we had a great time dining at The French Stall and later chilling at a gorgeous Lounge which I am not allowed to disclose or Tania will have my head! :)

This high society lounge is so magnificently designed that I doubt you can find such architecture anywhere else in SG. I didn't take many pictures because as usual, I was too busy enjoying the jazz music and just enjoying the whole scenary.

I spied a fairy at the bar and commented that her outfit looked like a disco ball! Tania gave me a mysterious smile and said: "The fairy will fly."

I stared at her flabbergested. How in the world?

All the precious wine is stored above the bar as you can see from the pictures and the fairy did fly - To get our bottle of wine! How cool is that! :p

The real entertainment for that night was the birth of BELAPORN!

Belaporn = Bel

She came with hardly a voice and as the night progressed on, her voice became audible but she started sounding like a transvitite! You know how Bel is! Always so loud and animated. That just added on to her new persona. Lol...So we decided to christian her with a new nickname!

Boliao-ism

2011-06-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

One Wild Night with my Sexy Gals!

2011-06-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Wo he ni wen bie...>_<

Bel frenching a Thai girl. LOL....This was the second or third time! I HAD to take a picture!

My 2 sexy Leos...

Oh my Goodness! It was one hellava FUN Friday night! Was at Neverland and my gals were in a crazy mood the whole night! :)

What do you expect from two Leos eh?

Van, as usual, mixing weird ass drinks for us and forcing it down our throats. Martell and beer! It was kind of delicious though...Who knew?

Bel was going loco, standing on chairs and dancing and conversing in Hokkien with Van. Two blurdy Ah-Lians by heart. Lol...

Got to meet a whole bunch of new friends and yes, the header for my FB....Let me explain, got mistaken for being a Thai girl AGAIN.

Crab Feast!

2011-06-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

THE REAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: DURIAN!!!

Hmm...I was disappointed with this feast! I suppose I shouldn't have gotten my expectations up so high with the price we were paying but still...

I'm a BIG fan of crabs and they had a wide variety but the freshness CMI la. They didn't have my fave - Salted Egg crab too. :(

But, the durian saves the day! Fresh and marvelously sweet, thank goodness I was kiasu and took two plates because within the next 5 minutes, the queue behind me lengthened to the other end of the buffet hall! I swear there were at least 50 people in the queue! >_<

Conclusion: No more crab buffets for me. I'll stick to the famous places that specialises in crabs and I don't mind paying more!

See this lovely crab bee hoon? The crab was HUGE and FLESHY! Melbun at Tao Payoh with Shirley a month or so before the above failed crab buffet.

Highlight of the Week

2011-06-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

Sam and I were bored.........so we came up with this collage of our dearest Big S, Shirley! From the moment I met Shirley, I always thought she looked like the Hong Kong actress Qiu Shu Zhen.

Doesn't she?

Her bf laughed like crazy when he heard about it! Apparently, he doesn't seem to think so. Wakakaka...

Angel

2011-06-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for the shoot...

Had the most wonderful shoot with a brilliant photographer last week or so! I LOVE his work. He managed to capture the 'feel'...and allowed every picture to speak a thousand words.

*Loves*

Sensation

2011-06-09T03:22:00.000-07:00

Went drinking with Van at Sensation, the new Thai disco at Pacific Plaza. Hmmm...small and cosy.

Sam's birthday

2011-06-09T03:16:00.000-07:00

Prior to meeting up with Sam and Shirley, I went for a shoot at the above jetty! Alan and I had explored this place once before and I was thrilled to have been able to shoot here. :)

Then, it was off to Clarke Quay to meet the gals! Imagine, partying on a Monday?!! WTF! But it was a special occasion...SO special that Shirley dressed SUPER sexy. Lol...

Long Kang picture...Wahahaha!

Yummerlicious chocolate cake!

Greedy Shirley. Haha...

We made Sam drink one shot of 151...Hmm, not enough eh. We gave too much 'face' to the BD gal.

Pump Room sucked ass on a Monday! But it was pure entertainment watching the many prostitutes and trannies plying their trade. And hoh! The later the hour, the more dirty everyone gets! ;)

Ottanjobi Omedetto Sam-chan!

Batam

2011-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

See that small little blue contraption Dada is holding. Oh my! You won't believe how useful it can be warding off mosquitos, cooling us from the heat amongst many other things!

Taxi ride to the hotel!! Woohoo!!!!

J.Co donuts for breakkie!!!

Bye Bye Batam

The ride back home.

Gorgeous Dada posing for the camera.

Batam was awesome. It was a short getaway from work and SG. Much needed especially since I haven't been away for quite some time.

Maya's sister, Sophie was wonderful as she helped us to get a room at the Holiday Inn for a discounted price.

Bel, Dada and I trooped over to the Indonesian island by ferry which took us 45 minutes and were super looking forward to our spa time!

You'll notice no pictures of the spa because, haha...I didn't bother. I was too excited to take any! :) I chose a milk package which included a heavenly scrub, massage, milk hydro bath, steam and....this interesting treatment called Ratus.

It's a fairly common practice amongst Indonesian women to 'clean' the vagina. I had to fit myself on a round chair with a great big hole in the center while the therapist placed a burning bowl of charcoal beneath. The steam is supposed to cleanse my feminine parts. Lol...

Spa was good for the price we paid. Although the pedicure was a disappointment (Cleaning of the nails wasn't thorough and no nail color), everything else was perfect. What else could we complain about when the price was so good?

We covered a little shopping. Was supposed to get a bikini for a refreshing swim at the hotel pool but ended up buying lingerie! Then, it was off for one of the best seafood places I've tried! Ooooooohhhhh my God! I will never be able to forget the salted egg crab! Yummerlicious! No pictures again....you know why! ;)

We retired to the hotel and sank into a deep slumber til late the next day.

We had another delicious feast at Sushi Teh, Vivo before heading home. It was a fun and rewarding holiday. ALthough I would have loved to have been able to visit a country farther away from SG, this trip made me happy.

For it's the simple pleasures in life that count, no? ;)

Happy Birthday Shirley!

2011-05-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

The Beautiful Birthday Gal

Went out with the gals for some drinks at Alley Bar. It was a nice quiet night with barely a crowd because it was a Sunday.

It seems as if the three of us will be having more nights out with the amount of stress the Boss is giving us!

I'm so glad I met Shirley! She has been a motivation in my life of late and a really good friend and colleague. It's good to hear that life is treating her well. May God continue to bless her and Sam too. :)

Wamdue Project - Forgiveness

2011-05-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

Maya's Housewarming

2011-05-02T05:43:00.000-07:00

Went to Maya's housewarming last night. We had a blast unwinding with a great bottle of Merlot, catching up and watching Cool Dragon by Ekin Cheng, hahaha....brought back the good old days.

While we were watching a movie like this, Kai had to sms me and ask me to go down for Sparks reunion party. Wahahaha....! Kind of regret not heading down just for the fun of reliving old memories!

To Van, With Love

2011-04-30T02:11:00.000-07:00

Haven't met up with Van in ages! Too long! We clubbed the night away at Neverland with Martell (Yum!) and good company. It was another entertaining night and I ended up super high as always whenever I'm out with Van.

Crazy woman made me ta don't know how many times! And she can still ask me out to club again the following day. Auntie, I'm old already lo. Don't have the stamina liao! >_<"

Kai's Farewell

2011-04-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

We started of at Long Beach @ Dempsey for some Butter Crab! Yummerlicious! I'm gona go eat it this Thursday again. Can't wait!!!

Then, it was Winebar while we waited for Ah Ber to join us. The whole of Zouk was dead as a tomb! :( That's Honey Bunny, one of our fave drinks.

Ber arrives, looking all ready to go to some beach party. Haha...Ta Telly! MBS was our next stop but I was so busy taking in the sights of how gorgeous it was there that I forgot to take pics. Grrrr...

We cam-whored the night away!

Our crazy night took us to Zouk, MBS, Nana and finally Le Noir where we were lucky enough to see the cast of Lion King partying the night away with their jaw-dropping, out of this world dance moves!

Got picked up by a bunch of dudes who invited us over to their table. Free flowing alcohol again at the VIP area! Wahahaha...Don't you love me, girls?

Kai's leaving for Dubai to join Emirates.

Three of us go back a long time...we used to club every other day of the week and did everything together. But misunderstandings and squabbles drove us to our seperate ways until we reunited this year.

We've all grown, haven't we? We're all so different from when we first got close 5 years ago.

It's a shame that just after we patched our friendship up, Kai got accepted into Emirates and may not be back in SG for quite some time.

All the best to Kai! She's forging a new path and a brighter future. God bless her. :)

There was something about you

2011-04-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

Right Here Waiting For You

2011-04-21T05:29:00.000-07:00

Finally ! Some me time! Haven't had the luxury of doing this for a long long time. Feels great! I Was watching some videos on YouTube when I found this.

My dad's favourite song. He used to sing it to me when I was little. My earliest recollection of a song I really like.

Gold & Silver

2011-04-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

I call this the cursed shoot because of all the craziness that happened because of it.

A lawsuit, aggravated lust, jealousy...A highlighted dramatic sequence of events that sprung from the most common causes in human history. ;)

Sunflowers make my world go round

2011-04-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

Lots of love and support from my friends...I am loved. Thanks peeps! There's so much more to smile about than to feel sad!

My first visit to Nightingale Nursing Home this Thursday. Excited but kind of scared at the thought of meeting my very first client. I hope we can hit it off real well. Looking forward to it!

Meanwhile, I have a major assignment to complete and I've not yet began. >_<

Ashes of Time

2011-02-24T09:47:00.000-08:00

My favourite movie of the moment!

Scarlett

2011-02-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

When I'm old and gray, I'll look through this picture blog and be filled with gladness that I once had the opportunity to be captured through the lens so beautifully - thanks to many talented photographers.

Youth will pass one day and I'm happy that I could immortalise the times when I had the greatest of joy and the blackest of sorrow. And perhaps one day, I'll come to appreciate these times.

On numerous occasions, I have found myself wishing upon a star for a wish to be granted but there is nothing in the pitch awning darkness of the night sky. No stars and no hope. I found the strength within to fight on. But I loved a fairytale too much.

I learnt to be honest about what I truly felt. And now I understand how and why the truth can set me free. What an obstacle! A page to be read and a chapter closed...

Honesty to yourself about yourself will set you free - Anonymous

Safe

2011-01-30T22:29:00.000-08:00

Take a Leap of Faith and Let Go...

2011-01-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

Let go?

I cry rivers of tears....

Reluctant and ungraceful,

like a child grasping the skirts of its mother's,

like a woman with her heart broken.

I despair.

Let go?

Merry Christmas Eejit!

2010-12-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

comic convention fun

2010-12-19T06:16:00.000-08:00

This is the rare few things which fascinated me at the comic convention. Was dragged there by Jon! Lol....I supposed it was rather interesting. After which we trooped off to church!

Kawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to watch Simpsons a lot! :D

and then there was 3 again!

2010-12-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

Debz is back! That means several things: more partying (maybe?), Days of Our Lives drama and excess craziness. Hmmm...Peace? Someday in 60 years perhaps.... >_<

I'm Through With Love

2010-11-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

Smooth Sailing

2010-11-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hideous emotions gnawing at my insides. I don't like how I feel but can't reject it either. This picture hardly fits the contents of this blog post but there are always two sides to everything - the ugly and the beautiful. It's all a matter of which one you choose to open your eyes to.

Selfish thoughts...I wish I could wipe them away! The things I put myself through...I wish life could be smooth all throughout. But that would be boring, would it?

Iphone 4 CHANEL

2010-11-11T02:46:00.000-08:00

Omg! I want!!!! It's damn chio! O_o

Lingerie Modelling

2010-11-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

There are two sides of a coin to everything...And many facets to a human soul.

A Dream

2010-10-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

I lost a dream one night,

Of fervent hope and memories spent...

I wandered far away,

But always back to you again.

This dream won't let me go,

Nor do I want it to let go.

A river that flows on,

Never to look back but onward.

You're my beautiful soul,

Falling into the depth of you...

Hold me, I remember

It still will not shatter

Just a little...

2010-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

I know it's a little too late to put up mooncake pictures but haha...I don't see the sin in this. >_<

Snowskin with double egg yolk is my fave this year. Jolene brought a whole box to work and I got one full piece to myself coz she knew I love the ones she brought.

Been pigging out a lot lately. Gota stop before I get fat! Too much in the junk will be horrendous... O_o

Feeling a tad blue, a little tired, a mite disappointed.

Arty Farty Singapore

2010-09-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

Singapore, boring? You kidding me!

Out and about in town after dark,

brought me around,

felt as free as a lark.

I miss the night, it's stillness and the absolute calm melancholy it brings...I miss being able to appreciate it. And I almost miss the darkness. Almost. But not quite.

Capabilities

2010-09-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

When gifts and expensive trinkets are easily bought by would be suitors, I want to be able to buy them on my own. That way, if I want to show off a Cartier or a Dior, at least it was purchased by my own capable means and not another's. It's my idea of a better showing off!

Emotions

2010-09-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

The feelings are still so strong. I want to run away from myself.

愛してる...

The Joy of Being Free

2010-08-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

Finally, an off day that requires me to do NOTHING! No modelling, no errands to run, nowhere to go! I kind of love it. ;)

So here I am cam whoring and surfing the net, free to do whatever I want, it's been a while...I'd forgotten what it's like to feel so free. I've read some books, gona write a letter and I'll probably even go for a little jog this evening when this blasted sun goes down. *Contented*

I just finished reading this book. It's an amazing true life story that teaches us about love, life and pain. It touched my heart and I learnt a lot.

Everyone should start reading good books like these. It opens your heart and mind to all possibilities in life and teaches a wealth of wisdom that everyone should be equipped with.

What you are about is more important than who you are. - Letters to Sam

Bel's B'Day

2010-08-19T02:41:00.000-07:00

We wanted to chill but ended up at a club in the middle of nowhere. The music was not bad but we were all yawning away...I guess this is what you would call old age. Been there, done that. *Yawnz* Boring! Next!

So we skipped off to Newton Circus to have some good old chilli crab and stingray! We enjoyed ourselves more at a food centre than a club. Omg!

Along the way, we got into a cab filled with Doraemon. Lol...What a wonderful night! ;)

The Right Things...Pfffttt!!!

2010-08-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be a BETTER day!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear it! I know it!

Dreamy Pastures

2010-07-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I believed in a dream. Now, I am far from it but on the path to it. I realised that achieving the goal is not where beneficial experience lies but rather the road to it that allows for the deepest meaning to be learnt and valued.

I have a lot to learn, a lot to experience, a lot to share, a whole life to lead. The time is now. Our paths are split in two and separated. But it is of great joy that I see coming in the future. Time will tell.

I'm still fighting, I can't have it any other way...

ODB

2010-07-25T23:53:00.000-07:00

People in whom the world sees no value,

But only as burdens to bear,

Teach us great lessons of God’s sovereign power—

He loves them as treasures so rare. —Carbaugh

Never underestimate the value of one soul.

Talk Show Host

2010-07-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, no words are needed. A song speaks volumes for what a person feels deep within.

Here's an old time favourite song from my favourite movie of all times...

If I Could Fall In Love - Lenny Kravitz

2010-07-19T05:46:00.000-07:00

No Regrets

2010-07-19T04:46:00.000-07:00

At the end of the day, life should be led the way you want it.

2 of my darling gfs made me think hard on life and regrets today. I've always lived my life to please others'. Be it my parents or the people around me. Always afraid of what people might think of what I do or how I deal with certain things.

Someone special taught me otherwise. I learnt a great deal from him especially having to go through experiences which I would not normally do.

But it was my 2 gfs who drove the nail in.

It's going to take a little more getting used to - not having to care what others' think - but it makes me feel so much better living this way.

Always

2010-07-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

Take half of my life in exchange for your freedom

I've gone Green

2010-07-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

Horror of HORRORS!

I am going green! I didn't know salads could be so tasty! I've never been a big fan of veggies. I'm a carnivore and was always damn proud of it! Hahaha...But I've been eating a lot of greens lately and enjoying it.

Sam and I attended some talk lately and out of coincidence, we found a great salad bar at International Plazaselling cheap and tasty salad. Almost wish I am working in the CBD area again!

P.S: Ok lah...you can see bacon bits in my salad. Some would say its cheating but why can't I have the best of both worlds? ;)

Ivan's Farewell

2010-07-08T00:15:00.000-07:00

My dear buddy has been despatched overseas to work and so we had a fun farewell at Timbre last Thursday. I will miss him! He's my biggest music source and my close confidante. I hope he makes it big overseas and comes back soon.

I had just gotten my eyelashes done. I didn't really like it though. Changed how my eyes looked. >_< Oh well, we should try everything in life, no? ;)

Loved the band that was playing last night. They played a few of my fave songs including this old song by 311 called AMBER.

Changed My Port

2010-07-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

I've switched my port to a different website!

What is Hope?

2010-06-17T04:23:00.001-07:00

Golden Girl

2010-06-17T02:15:00.000-07:00

Loved the idea but was quite disappointed with how it all turned out. Maybe I expected too much? Still eagerly awaiting pictures.

Hmm...I feel the revolving wheel of Life again. The people around us or who we care about influences each choice we make in life. I wonder how this circumstance will change or affect me. We shall play the waiting game again.

I never stopped praying for you.

Love this!

2010-06-15T06:22:00.001-07:00

Hinano Yoshikawa

2010-05-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

My dream concept for the next shoot. :) And of course Hinano again as my inspiration.

Look What I Found!!!

2010-05-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

I love these pics! I'm thinking of doing something like these series again. :) Modelling has gotten isolated of late since I've become so busy. But I'm starting to have the itch again...LoL

Some things never change like my love for posing in front of the camera and the results which speaks a thousand words. My glass bubble is cracking slowly but surely again. How long will I last?

"The issue was not happiness, prosperity, or satisfaction, but wholeness. This is the great need of us all." - odb

Quotes

2010-04-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

"I have found the paradox,

that if you

love

til it hurts,

there can be no more hurt,

only more love."

- Mother Teresa

Never Fade Away

2010-04-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

Pink & White

2010-04-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

As promised my dear, cranky bff. Even though you seem to not give two hoots about it.

All the Gorgeous Colours...

2010-03-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

Long awaited pictures! Finally! This blog has been neglected to say the least. Been superb-ly busy. Honestly, I wanted to be busy. I even prayed for it. But now that I am, I'm having second thoughts...Haiz....we can never be completely satisfied with life, no?

I am going to be maxed out soon if I continue but I still don't see any other better choice. Why am I still waiting? What is it I really wish for? Something that will never be the same again?

What happened to the other wishes and prayers? Are You only gona fulfil one?

加油!!!

2010-03-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

最近心情非常好!!! :) 我的生活不也许是完全的，但是改善了很多. 工作时间虽然长, 但我的老板和同事对我很好.

有时, 想到过去会心疼. 但,生活是美满的! 我觉对相信我的生活会越來越美好! :) 幸福是挣取的!!!

If mistakes are not made, nothing will be learnt.

我的爱爱

2010-03-09T17:14:00.000-08:00

I wanted an eejit ferret but got you instead. >_<" . *Loves*

Randomness

2010-03-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

~~I got a feeling that one day, this blog is gona go obsolete................~~

いるところ?

A Picture

2010-03-05T05:13:00.001-08:00

A picture speaks a thousand words...

Gai Gai

2010-03-03T04:22:00.000-08:00

Met up with Micki and Ivan and headed down to Morton's for steak sandwiches and Apple Martinis!!! Yummerlicious! :P

Then, I managed to drag them over to the food centre next to the Esplenade for someMORE food. Haha... I was hungry la...Both were complaining after Morton's that they couldn't eat anymore but we still managed to wolf down several dishes!

I enjoyed their company. With Micki, I find myself always laughing and I really miss that! Hanging out with them made me feel carefree. :)

Sometimes, the best path out of a bad situation is the most difficult....

Splendidly Dark

2010-03-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

Another set by Aylwin. :) Looking forward to more! This series was done dark, mysterious and sensual. I felt I was doing too many of the clean, pretty shoots so I agreed to do something darker and raw.

I really should do something high fashion next! Any takers?

I was looking through my port and I'm still not satisfied! There's just something lacking and I feel it's uniqueness that is missing. I need something fresh and original. Something that reveals character and versatility.

Only one thing can make a soul complete and that is love. - The Reader

Like A Waterfall

2010-02-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

Did a really fun water shoot a couple of weeks back and here are the results! *loves* Modelling is a hobby for me and it's most fun when there's a make-up artist involved to transform me into someone else! Professional makeup is so essential to create a flawless portrait.

Sometimes, I wish photographers can understand that. If you want a professional looking shoot, GET A MAKE-UP ARTIST! That's unless you're going for a natural 'Japanese photobook' kinda look which requires less make-up.

Hair & Make-up

The Done Results

The one I liked without processing:

Fooling Around

Acres of blue ocean & a solitary rock,

I dreamt a dream of you and me. - Anon

Sunset Way

2010-02-25T18:59:00.000-08:00

My beloved Sunset Way...during sunset.

Take Me To A Place Far Away From Here

2010-02-23T20:51:00.000-08:00

Did a shoot at 2 locations recently and it was a real learning experience for me! Lol...I've realised that I've changed. Almost in a huge way unexpectedly.

My expectations of life...my goals and my needs. :)

What brought about self reflection was the locations. My first shoot location was the old and abandoned French embassy. The architecture was gorgeous and yes, I could enjoy it to a certain extent. The old me would have been absolutely thrilled and excited with exploring the place but strangely, there was no kick. Hahaha....

Our second location was at Sunset Way. The view was splendid. To say it took my breath away would be an understatement. The old railway track, the scribblings on the rusted metal bridge, the sun setting in the horizon...brought a wave of nostalgia and...love.

I fell in love with God again and His marvelous works. And with that, I found myself again.

I will always bounce back up to my feet no matter how hard the fall....it's one of my best quality traits!

Otanjobi

2010-02-16T21:58:00.000-08:00

I spent this year's birthday with my family. :) Ma bought me my fave carrot cake from Secret Receipe and came to meet me after work. I am a happy gal! It's the simple pleasures that matter and this year, I am determined to find myself again...to just be happy at the littliest things...to be positive...

I made my birthday wish and blew out the candle. My wish has been the same since last year and maybe one day it will be fulfilled, maybe it never will. But it's better to continue hoping than to not have any hope at all!

The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves... Until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains. - Memoirs of A Geisha